Feeding schedule logs in the hospital with a newborn baby. Lavender baths, followed by story time, and then a kiss before bed. After-school snacks, followed by homework, and then dance or sports practice. Yes, modern parents have read the books and blogs all about the importance and benefits of routines. But guess what? Children also need time for open-ended, unstructured, joyful, pure PLAY. In fact, the lack of unscheduled time for kids to be kids is such a prominent course of discussion that the phenomena has been given its own terminology: “The Play Gap.”
Kayley Cook, CIG, is McWane Science Center’s Director of Museum Engagement, so she knows a thing or two about having fun (while still learning). She notes, “What matters most is ensuring children still have opportunities for hands-on, imaginative, and social play.” So, let’s look into the causes and effects of the play gap while also remembering the most important part—to fight back, and play!
Causes of the Play Gap
Educational Excellence. Whether it is kindergarten, college, or careers, academic pressures urge kids to always be ready…or to even be ahead of the game. This means hours spent studying, working with tutors, and taking on resume-building opportunities.
Extracurriculars have become “extra.” Even when it comes to modern youth extracurriculars, those, too, have undergone a seemingly generational shift of becoming more competitive. Hours of practices, work-outs, and endless tournaments and competitions don’t take the fun away from extracurriculars, but it definitely adds more structure and pressure to the experiences.
Safety Concerns. Raised to have “stranger danger” themselves, modern parents were always taught to be cautious and safe. And in raising their own kids, if they are busy, and off the streets… they probably aren’t getting into trouble!
Increased Time in a Virtual World. When busy kids have time to decompress, they may choose to sit behind a screen for a bit and just scroll. It requires little effort, thought, planning, or energy, but it still gives that little dopamine boost. Cook echoes this thought: “The way kids play is evolving. Technology is part of that shift, and while it brings challenges, it can also support creativity, problem-solving, and exploration in ways that weren’t previously possible.” Instead of riding a bike over to see a friend to hang out, it is much easier for friends to check in virtually.
It must be said: The cause of the play gap is not bad parenting. In a society that equates busy and active with successful (and safe), parents are simply trying to meet the status quo and set their kids up for adulthood. Luckily, as a parent, knowing the causes of the play gap is one of the first steps of fighting its effects.
Effects of the Play Gap
Burn out isn’t just for adults. Cook digs deeper on this idea of little kids experiencing big burn out, saying, “When children are overscheduled or under constant pressure to perform, the same stress we see in adults can show up in similar ways—fatigue, irritability, and feelings of inadequacy.”
Boredom breeds creativity. While being “bored” has a negative connotation, the outcome of boredom is all positive. It takes both motivation and innovation to fill the void of activity when boredom strikes. Experiencing boredom and discovering play isn’t taking a break from learning—it is learning. Having a highly structured routine with little room for “nothing,” kids lose out on the opportunity to self-start their own fun.
Another effect of the play gap is a fear of failure. Cook explains, “What’s important to remember is that failure exists in both learning and play, and it is often the first step toward success. When we intentionally incorporate and normalize failure as part of the learning process, we help build children’s self-esteem, resilience, and willingness to persevere.” Play is a safe place to fail and try again, building resilience that translates to all aspects of life.
Through play, children also get a chance to practice social-emotional skills like negotiating, handling conflict, and so much more. These are all important skills to grow! Of course when the fun kicks in, children also experience decreased anxiety and emotional regulation while playing. Where routines help children feel safe, play pushes them to grow.
Fight Back; PLAY!
Check the busy family schedule and make time for some un-structuring. Whether reducing the amount of activities each week, adding a “do nothing” day or reclaiming downtime that turned into screen time, families can make play a priority.
Play doesn’t have to be an adult-led adventure, and parents don’t have to step in to cure the boredom. Kayley Cook sounds off on the big benefits of open-ended play: “Open-ended play is where curiosity and learning naturally meet. When children direct their own play, they practice creative problem-solving, collaboration, and cause-and-effect thinking in ways that feel meaningful to them. Unstructured play allows children to explore ideas, take risks, and make sense of the world on their own terms—which is a powerful foundation for lifelong learning.”
Kids may experience confusion at first with a “Now what?” look of fear in their eyes. Providing open-ended toys like blocks, bricks, mini-figures, cardboard boxes and art supplies, nature goodies and more for younger children can help lead the way to play. Instead of giving direct instructions, parents can spark creativity with leading questions to help get the creative juices flowing.
Reminder: Tweens and teens need to play too! Based on a child’s interests, play could look like: pick-up, no-pressure sports with friends, game nights with friends including escape rooms, drawing, photography, fashion design, cooking or baking, making music, hiking, and more. Any activity that gives joy and sparks creativity can fit the bill for play. Encourage new hobbies for enjoyment, not assessment, grades, ranks, or trophies!
And adults! Avoid burn-out and spark your own joy too. Play is NOT just for kids.
The play gap certainly didn’t appear overnight, and it won’t disappear overnight, either. But every unscheduled afternoon and scheduled boredom session is an invitation to imagine and create. When it comes to play, practice makes perfect…so get out there with the family and have some fun!
