Helping Parents Deal With Infant Loss
Published: December 29, 2015
By: Paige Townley
When Cameron and Laura Otwell found out they were going to have a baby, their story was much like most every first-time parent – excitement, plenty of planning and routine doctor visits.
It was at a routine doctor visit that the couple was faced with unexpected news. At 18 weeks, when they were to find out the baby’s gender, they instead discovered the baby had fluid around the heart, lungs and kidneys. “We had never imagined that something could be wrong as we walked into the ultrasound room,” Laura says. “Our hearts dropped as they told us the news.”
Laura was immediately sent to a high-risk doctor who said the baby – a little girl – either had Down syndrome or Turner’s syndrome. An amniocentesis had to be performed to be certain. “After days of waiting on the results, we prayed that the doctors’ prognoses were wrong,” says Laura. “Our sweet daughter had Turner’s syndrome. We didn’t know what to do next. We were told she had a one in five chance of survival. The odds were not in her favor, but that didn’t stop our family from praying for a miracle.”
Turner’s syndrome is a chromosomal disorder that affects only females. It occurs when the X chromosome is missing or partially missing and can cause a variety of problems, such as infertility, heart defects, learning disabilities and failure to start puberty. “While many females diagnosed with the syndrome can live very normal lives, our baby was diagnosed with a severe case because it was found in utero,” Laura explains. “It became a waiting game because we had to go to the doctor every week for them to check her heartbeat. That was extremely emotionally trying.”
At 24 weeks, Laura and Cameron’s worst nightmare was realized. “They told us she had no heartbeat,” Laura says. “Those words still ring in my mind.”
The very next morning, on February 8, 2014, Laura delivered one pound, five-ounce Rylee Brooke, a name they had settled on right after they discovered she was sick. “Even though I knew she was already gone when she was delivered, being able to feel her in my arms and have those moments with her was very comforting,” Laura says. “Getting to spend time with her and have my family spend time with her really helped me. For me, it made the reality easier to accept because I knew that we had to say our goodbyes because we would leave the hospital without her. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it helped me cope.”
Also helping Laura cope with the loss of her child was a memory box she received from the hospital’s family services administrator while in the hospital. The box contained numerous keepsakes about Rylee, including her tiny handprints and footprints, her pink hospital armband, a baby ring, a dress she wore while in the hospital, a crocheted blanket and a hat. “This box is incredibly special to me,” Laura says. “It brings me comfort when I am fearful of losing her memories. It gives me strength when I need it most.”
Laura was so touched by the memory box that she was inspired to help hospitals ensure other families that have experienced miscarriages, stillborn births and infant loss would receive one as well. She created a charity, called Rylee’s Hope, and began making crocheted items and soliciting companies for donations.
Her first donation to Brookwood Medical Center Women’s Center, where she gave birth to Rylee, included enough items for upwards of 50 boxes. “One item I was really excited about getting was a little card for handprints and footprints,” Laura says. “When Rylee was born, the hospital didn’t really have anything for that; they literally used a sticker to make hers. I found a company that makes little cards – one for boys, one for girls and one gender neutral – and they were kind enough to send us the file so the hospital can use them as often as they need to.”
To help raise money for Rylee’s Hope, Laura also hand makes and sells memory books that are specifically for infant loss. “Even though losing my daughter is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, I feel like I am supposed to help others going through similar situations,” Laura says. “I am compelled to touch at least one family with a similar story in honor of my sweet angel baby.”
For more information about Rylee’s Hope, visit https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rylees-Hope/745682395472021. To purchase a memory book, visit https://www.etsy.com/listing/206618041/infant-loss-memory-book-baby-book-memory.
Paige Townley is a Birmingham freelance writer.