WANTED: Group of local or online homeschoolers to form a tribe where we all feel relaxed and comfortable. Must just naturally hit it off, and if our kids get along, that’s even better. Must share ideas, field trips, encouragement, tears, laughs, rides, curriculum, coffee, playdates and frustrations. Future possibilities include starting a small learning co-op, holiday parties, book clubs for different ages, sports and more.
Published: December 31, 2017
By: Kerrie McLoughlin
WANTED: Group of local or online homeschoolers to form a tribe where we all feel relaxed and comfortable. Must just naturally hit it off, and if our kids get along, that’s even better. Must share ideas, field trips, encouragement, tears, laughs, rides, curriculum, coffee, playdates and frustrations. Future possibilities include starting a small learning co-op, holiday parties, book clubs for different ages, sports and more.
Sound too good to be true? It can be your awesome reality! If you are new to homeschooling and haven’t yet found your tribe, taking the leap could lead you (and your kids!) to Homeschool Zen. Everybody talks about homeschool socialization for your kids, but what about for you? And why can’t you have both at the same time?
Homeschooling mom Angie Pemberton says, “My tribe is our little group with all kids about the same age. I think it gets a little harder to homeschool as kids get older and they start feeling like they are missing out on some of the school stuff. This group helps us get the good stuff without the drama. We have our own little summer co-op and field trip group and love the support we get from each other.”
So where can you find – or how can you start – your own homeschooling tribe? Lots of places!
Online
To me, this is the easiest way to find and maintain your tribe. Start with Yahoo Groups, Meetup and Facebook. If you Google “homeschool groups ” you will also find some great options. You can start your own group online, as well, if you aren’t finding what you want or if you just want to do your own thing. Invite tribe potentials and then they can invite friends they like. Your group might be full of homeschoolers from all over the country (or world!) or maybe you connect with a handful with whom you can meet locally.
Locally: Join an existing group
Of course, it’s a great help to find a local tribe as well. Most states have a list of homeschool groups, so check that out. Start with some large support group meetings to see if it’s a good fit for both you and your children. You may find you gel with a few moms, and you can then branch off into your own weekly meetup and bring others in as you make connections.
Also, during school hours go to places where homeschoolers hang out – libraries, parks, indoor play areas, zoos, children’s museums, indoor trampoline parks. Some libraries have homeschooler lunch bunch, and you can also Google for local coops and classes. Maybe you meet someone at the library who you think would fit into your group very well, and you invite him or her to your next park date or book club meetup.
Unless you are a total social butterfly, heading into a group of homeschooling parents might seem a little scary. Take a deep breath and do it anyway – it’s for you and for your kids, after all, and you deserve to find that special supportive set of people.
Locally: Start your own group
Host a book club, art show, nature hike or field trip and invite a bunch of different people you’ve collected from using the methods above. People will start showing up and you’ll get to know them. Some will never come, some will come religiously, but soon enough you’ll start to figure out who your tribe is. My experience has always been that the kids will follow your lead and, if you get a large enough group going, they will find at least one person they also connect with.
Don’t forget you can have more than one tribe! I put together a great tribe of hippie-ish unschooling friends (moms and dads) that met at a coffeehouse/gym combo for a long time, but then I also found a fantastic group of structured homeschooling women when my family started at a co-op. You can, conversely, have one tribe that’s entirely online and one that only meets for field trips! The sky’s the limit where your tribes are concerned!
What about disagreements and problems? It’s true that there are going to be disagreements in any group. Sometimes you just need a break after a sticky situation with another mom or between the kids; sometimes there needs to be a full-on break-up with the entire group. Sometimes you just change and maybe outgrow the tribe and slowly and politely make your exit with no hard feelings. People in your tribe will move away, stop homeschooling altogether, have drama over things non-homeschool related and more.
Your tribe will grow, shrink and change. Be open to the tribe concept and I promise it will enrich the homeschooling experience for both you and your kids! Keep an open mind and collect your wonderful homeschool friends wherever you can find them. Then nurture those relationships, because you’re going to need the support on your homeschooling journey!
Kerrie McLoughlin has been homeschooling her 5 children for over 10 years. You can find her at TheKerrieShow.com.