How to Maximize the Potential of Your Child with ADHD

“He is so smart….I just don’t understand why he can’t be more responsible and get better grades.”  If this thought has ever entered your mind, there is an excellent chance that your child has ADHD – whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as of 2011, 11 percent of children in the United States have been diagnosed with ADHD. This percentage has increased from 7.8 percent in 2003.

Most of us are familiar with examples of brilliant individuals who have exhibited symptoms of ADHD.  Among these are Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo, Mozart, John Lennon, Walt Disney, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison, and John F. Kennedy. While conventional wisdom holds that those with ADHD tend to be creative and intelligent, this knowledge is scant comfort to a parent in the throes of assisting a child with ADHD fit into a school system that is ill-equipped to deal with this type of intelligence in a way that allows it to blossom.

The good news is that parents can have a tremendous impact on the academic success of a child with ADHD.  Here are 10 ways that you can help.

1. Believe that your child CAN learn.  It is a matter of identifying the method and pace at which he learns. Children with ADHD are especially sensitive to the moods and attitudes of the people around them. It is essential that you, as the parent, believe in the abilities of your child and continually emphasize that there is always another way to try to learn something.
2. Educate yourself and your child about ADHD.  Read as much as you can about the condition and be truthful with your child about what you discover. Be sure to discuss the strengths of people with ADHD without downplaying the challenges she will face. Use realistic and accurate vocabulary when discussing ADHD with your child. She will carry your explanation with her throughout her life.
3. Dream about the future with your child. Help him to create goals about the future based on his talents and what he loves to do. Do not limit your child by telling him that his goals are unrealistic. The truth is, none of us knows what will be possible in the future. Slightly over 100 years ago, people believed that it was impossible for humans to fly; today one can travel across the world in a matter of hours! Children with ADHD constantly ask WHY they need to learn or do something. When your child is struggling to learn his multiplication facts, you can motivate him by finding a way to tie the task to his goals. With enough creativity, there is always a way to do this!
4. Advocate for your child at school. Insist that her teachers hold her to high, but achievable, standards. As previously stated, your child CAN learn what she needs to succeed, and her teachers need to understand this fact. While your child may need a different learning approach than some of her peers, it is important that the material presented not be “dumbed down” for her.  Children with ADHD are easily bored, and can exhibit behavior issues if material is not challenging enough. On the other hand, if they become overwhelmed with material that is not presented in a way in which they can feel successful, they often give up, which can also lead to behavior issues. Equip your child’s teachers with as much information as you can about how your child learns best.
5. Offer your child structure. Help her to set up a quiet, organized place to study and schedule daily study time as consistently as possible. Include extracurricular activities and chores on the schedule as well. Help her to create a checklist of the things she will need to remember to bring to school each day and put the checklist in a place she will easily find (for example, taped to the bathroom mirror or front door).  Because individuals with ADHD have difficulty with internal structure, external structure is very valuable to them. Having a written schedule and checklist reduces the need for verbal reminders from you, which eliminates much of the stress involved in an after school or morning routine. Spend a few days working through the schedule with your child; then allow her to follow it independently. This will offer her a wonderful sense of accomplishment and will send her the message that you believe she is capable of organizing herself.
6. Suggest that your child work in several 15-20 minute spurts. Many students with ADHD get overwhelmed and anxious when faced with a large stack of homework. Set a timer for 20 minutes and tell your child that he can stop working to take a break when the timer goes off.  Once he has overcome his initial resistance to getting started, he may well continue working after the timer has gone off. This technique works very well with subjects your child especially dislikes.
7. Consider hiring a tutor. This is especially valuable as your child enters the middle school years and naturally begins to rebel against parental guidance. A tutor can serve as a neutral source of encouragement and structure for your child, which can significantly reduce familial stress. Be sure, however, that the tutor you choose connects well with your child. It is also imperative that he or she believes that your child can learn.
8. Listen to your child when he tells you how he learns best. Some students with ADHD honestly work better while listening to music or doodling. Give your child the benefit of the doubt when he tells you something like this. If his claims do not prove to work well, negotiate a compromise. Perhaps he can listen to music after he has completed certain subjects.
9. Allow your child to learn from the natural consequences of his behavior. As a parent, it can be very difficult to watch your child make painful mistakes. It is tempting to do everything possible to save him from the consequences of his poor decisions; however, experience is often your child’s best teacher. If your child leaves his homework at home, rather than rushing to school to bring it to him, allow him to deal with the consequences. When he realizes that you will not take responsibility for his forgetfulness, chances are good that he will take steps to remember the next time.
10. Be vigilant about the words you use around your child.  As the saying goes, children learn what they live. If you continually tell your child that she is irresponsible, messy, disorganized, or incapable, you can be sure that these are the qualities that she will adopt. Point out what your child is doing right as often as possible, but be sincere in doing so.

While many of the characteristics of ADHD present challenges for both children and their parents, by employing these strategies, parents can help maximize their child’s potential, both in and out of school.

Anita Walter Gray, M.Ed., is the founder of Gray Matter Tutoring, which specializes in empowering students with multiple learning styles. She can be reached at 205-410-1873 or at anitawgray64@gmail.com.